2. The Blood Drive

This anecdote is dated September 7, 2000.

Back before I knew Jamie Bourdon, I saw him in Quad drinking red liquid out of a Dasani water bottle. Now, everyone knows that water isn't red. And, while defenders of Jamie Bourdon (those poor, delusional fools) may claim that he was drinking cranberry juice or liquid strawberry Jell-O or Clamato, I KNOW that he was drinking blood.

This is because Jamie used to be a vampire-in-training. But he gave up when he realized that vampires aren't allowed to "do chicks."