But first, two pictures of horses:
Countless examples of the interrelatedness of love and hate abound in classic literature, so it's understandable that one might think that my dislike of Jamie Bourdon is a corruption of what were once pure and tender feelings. Let me assure the reader that such is not the case. While I have dated several of his friends, I have never, ever been romantically inclined towards Jamie Bourdon for the following reasons:
1. Jamie has bad table manners, and often eats (or pretends to eat, as robots don't actually need to consume anything) with one spoon in each hand. I don't think he knows how to use a fork. Moreover, he often regurgitates food into its original container, such as the time he poured an entire box of cornflakes into his mouth and then spit them back into the box.
2. Jamie is in love with Jennifer Lopez (see previous entries).
3. Jamie doesn't like F. Scott Fitzgerald, and instead prefers to read math books and philosophical treatises on Dungeons and Dragons. In college, I simply refused to date anyone who did not like F. Scott Fitzgerald.
4. Jamie hates puppies and kitties.
In compiling this list, I've tried to stay away from obvious attacks and low blows (all of which the reader may assume apply).
Anyway, to end on a positive note, aren't horses neat?
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